Day to remember

So it is yet another holiday, which makes me yet again a grumpy person. I don't do well on holidays. I know, I am so sorry that I have basically been neglecting my blog but things have gotten crazy. I got a new phone and a new number, I have sworn off boys for at least two years (well boys that are more then just friends) and I have gotten really sunburned. Enough about me, to the good stuff now, eh?

Memorial day is a day to remember the dead. Mostly for those who have died for our rights, freedoms, and ability to make our own choices, but also those who we care about, those who impacted our lives for the short (or long ) time they were in them. It is not for remembering that they died, but remembering their life and the happy times we spent with them. As most of you already know, I lost my sister almost three years ago, and memorial day is one of the hardest for me because it is a reminder that she is not here, but it is also a reminder that she once was, she was a huge part of my life and it is really hard to move on without her but we can't just dam life behind the bricks of sorrow, you have to keep flowing in the currents. So remember all those who don't have anyone to remember them, love those who you never met, and remember this: In all of life, the one constant is change, and death is change's brother. Remember not only the hurt, but also the joy, the times spent under the stars in the mountain air, the late nights spent talking and catching up with one another, and most of all the times you were there for them; holding their hair while they puked, cleaning up their spilled milk so they didn't get in trouble for still being awake, and the time you just held them while they cried for reasons unknown. Remember their smile, their voice, and their smell. If you can't, then remember that at least you are thinking about them. It is okay to hurt, but it is not okay to sink yourself in it. You have to skim the surface once in a while, but never dive right in. I know first hand that is it's hard to get through it, but remember, I am always here for you, and so are a bunch of other people, you're never alone. Here are some songs I find work well with this topic. Stay Amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5p41PQDKw8&feature=BFa&list=WLB7AAF44F32029E11&index=14

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77pQPqFkBgw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFO7T2VPwdA&feature=BFa&list=WLB7AAF44F32029E11&index=11

Who am I?

So I just took like, a million quizzes on FaceBook and I just got this answer on one of them...

"You are a counselor. You are the one who want to help everyone. You can see and feel the pain that others are going through. You strive to remove that pain but there never seems to be anyone to be there for you when you are in pain."

That was so close to home that it made me tear up a little.  I have a little challenge for you, my readers. Who am I? Describe my personality, everything you know about me, and your personal thoughts about me. (Don't be afraid to get into the nitty gritty stuff. I want honesty) Everything from my personality, my flaws, my traits, my face, Everything. You can tell me via comment or send me an Email. The person who describes me the best and I feel knows the most about me will receive a hug and total Amazingness recognition on this blog. (If I can't give you a hug, I will send you an email with lot of love in it.) I want to know how well my readers know me. If you are one of my followers and I don't get a comment of email from you answering this, I will have to shun you for, like a week. Sad week that will be. So tell me who I am!!! (I know who I am and am quite comfortable with myself, but I want to know who really knows me.) Love you! Stay Amazing. =D

Coming soon

I have a post to type up, it is really good, but I am being a bit lazy seeing as how it is like, the very end of the school year. I am freaking out about deadlines, boys, and keeping relationships intact over the summer. So, my Mind Invader and I had a talk, and I let them see past my shields. (Something that I never do) Scared out of my mind about telling someone so much about me, let alone that specific person. Also, it gives them the chance to hurt me, and I hate feeling vulnerable. I AM NOT ONE TO BE WEAK! (didn't even mean to put Caps lock on, just sort of happened.) Really worried about how life is going to be from this point on. Somehow I feel like it is the turning point, everything is going to change, and I am not such a fan of the unknown. I like having things planned out and know what is going to happen, not be caught by surprise. This new post will be called, Dear World . It is a letter to the world, from myself. I wrote it as I was getting into bed one night, and when I woke up, I had a masterpiece plastered to my pillow. Sorry this post was so boring, and I am truly sorry that I am being a slacker, but my grades and social life are demanding my attention. Here is a song or two I love, hope that makes up for the lameness, after all, this is not the Lame Staci, this is The Amazing Staci. Stay Amazing you magical little ginger-hearted hotties. ;) -Yeah, I know, that is really strange, but...shut up. :D-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzE1mX4Px0I&feature=autoplay&list=WLB7AAF44F32029E11&index=12&playnext=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Sd5c4o9UM&feature=BFa&list=WLB7AAF44F32029E11&index=23

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooZwmeUfuXg&feature=BFa&list=WLB7AAF44F32029E11&index=28

Guy questions.

So, I'm oh so confused. Subject? BOYS! I have a few questions but not sure who to ask, so If you know the answers my sweet readers, for the love of all things fuzzy, comment and tell me.

• Would a guy rather have a girl let him see her cry, or a girl that does not cry?
• When we do cry does it make them want to help, or just annoy them? If so why and what can we do to change that?
• If a girl sees a guy cry how should she react? Comfort him or turn a blind eye?
• When a guy gives you his jacket cause you're cold, does it mean he likes you?
• Why do they care so much what we mean when we answer, "Mhm.", when we're upset with them?
• Would a guy like it if we gave him flowers?
• How do you know if a guy sees you just as a friend, or if he likes you more then that and what should you do in response to this news? Is there a "right" way to handle it?
• Do guys have "fat days"?
• When a guy knows you like him does he feel excited even if he doesn't feel the same, or is it just an annoyance?
• Is there a guy out there who actually picks up the hints girls lay down, who does not also like men?
• Is it stupid for a girl to want a smart "manly-man"? Is there such a thing?
• Do guys ever think about how they are dating another guy's daughter and that they too were once hormonal perve, or do they really think that the dad has no idea what that little creep is thinking?
• What are the top five things a guy looks for in a girl. (be honest.)
• Are guys as shallow as they seem, only seeing a nice body instead of seeing a sweet heart?

If you can answer any or all of these, please do so. If you guys have any questions about girls, feel free to ask. I am so willing to answer.

Feeling Not-So-Amazing

We all have those days when we are no longer on top of the world, but it is on top of our shoulders, weighing  us down so we can no longer fly. Well, what do you do when you feel like this and how can you fix it? Easy, do what you love. If it is a sport play til you drop, if it is reading, read til your eyes can't take it anymore. Just do what makes you smile, hang out in places you love, with people that you love. I just went through a harsh break-up yet again and so I'm no longer on top of the world, no longer on my game, but  plan on changing that. I am going to go play some volleyball and blast some tunes if I can round up a few friends, but that means I have to find my phone which seems to have dissipated through the night...Anyway, just do what makes you so happy you can no longer be sad.  If you don't know what to do, call me (if I ever find my stupid phone.) or email me and just talk to me. You don't even have to talk about why you're sad, just talk to me. I will make you smile; that's my skill you know. When it is your heart that needs mending, it will be love you'll need to be hearing, when it's your frown that needs turning, it will be me who has you smiling. ;) Right now, I am doing what I love, talking to you guys, expressing myself. Now I feel a whole lot better. If you need a little more boost here are a few links: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYhJFjagd0s&feature=autoplay&list=WLB7AAF44F32029E11&index=9&playnext=4 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s7ko68F20s&feature=autoplay&list=WLB7AAF44F32029E11&index=10&playnext
Hope these help you to smile, if not, then listen to something that does. Just get that icky feeling out. (I never use the word icky, but it is an adjective that just seems to work with what I'm saying.)

"Shake your thang,
 Talk so loud you start to scream,
 Run so fast you can't be caught,
 Laugh so hard you feel you'll pop," -Staci Lyn let it out On Night Fallen

Love you guys, and remember, you always have the right to feel Amazing. Stay Amazing. =)

Dreams

Dreams: Your subconscious's way of sorting through everything you saw and felt, noticed, or subconsciously noticed. When you get crazy dreams it is usually from a lot of stress, and it is surprising what your dreams can tell you about both your mental health, and your physical health if you just know how to listen. I have dreams about my Mind Invader a lot because that person is always in my thoughts, always in the corner of my vision. This may sound strange but I can sense when they are around, like, I know when they enter or leave the room and I can always tell when they are not around and what they are feeling when they are around. Well I had a dream about them and it really worried and made me mad at the same time. I hate knowing that they are such a huge part of my mind, that I'm that attached to them. UGH! IF ONLY GUYS COULD READ MINDS!!!! Then I would not have to explain anything to anyone cause the majority of my friends are guys and the rest that are girls and don't need an explanation. Anyway, apparently it is not enough for my Mind Invader to haunt me when I'm awake, but also when I'm asleep. I would rather chew off my own hands than let what happened in my dream happen in real life. The thing is, that I have this sick feeling that it is going to happen. That makes me so incredibly angry. I'm mad and nobody gets why because I can't tell them the whole story without sounding completely out of my mind. This person is a dream walker, walking through my mind, walking all over my heart, and walking my thoughts as if they were a deer trail through a forest of the uncertain sane world, leading to the solidity of insanity. For when you are insane everything is expected. You expect people to treat you like you're crazy, expect them not to entirely trust you, but when you are sane you are never sure of how they will treat you or react to you and your decisions. Ah, sanity only goes so far THEN SOMEONE PUSHES YOU OFF A CLIFF INTO THE SWEET BLISS OF THE CRAZY. Thanks, just thank you so much my Mind Invader. Stay Amazing my sweet readers.
PS: I just found this quote and I'm in love with it. =D

"Duct tape is like the force:  It has a dark side and
a light side and it holds the universe together."
- Carl Zwanzig

BEST DAY EVER!!

Me and my mum hung out all day and it was great. We went and got tea at a cute little tea place, shopped at a British store, and then went to a huge mall place. Then we went to the cemetery to see my sister's grave, and then to her friend's house to see how they were doing. Then we got home, and went to a neighbors to play games and chill. It was so much fun, I haven't had a day like that in forever. Really needed some time with my Mamma. =)
On a different note....You suck. No one is commenting and I doubt anyone is even reading this. Fine, just fine. That makes me sad on the inside. Like completely broken. If you want a broken The Amazing Staci just keep ignoring me. Your choice, but do know the world would be a darker place without me. YOUR CHOICE. Now, for a Mormon moment...CTR: choose the right...*HINT HINT* Stay Amazing. (Or stay average, you know, like not commenting makes you. SO AVERAGE!!!)

Mind Invader

Much like a space invader I have someone on my mind and I can't keep them out of my thoughts. It is going to drive me crazy. My mind invader is really sweet but at the same time bad for my health. They make me dwell on the sad, not on the happy and I just can't take that right now. I can't stand more sadness. Life is to be lived, not remembered. I can't just sit here, being sad that I can't make more memories or lost in what happened instead of what is happening. I wish my mind invader would just go away for a little bit, I can't take their presence in my head for much longer. The worst part is that they act like my conscience. Every time I even think something that is not like, saintly there they are in my head giving me a look that could make Hitler want to cry. Blue eyes that penetrate my soul and the hole left where a heart should be. (I don't have a heart, I'm too Amazing for such a stupid ball of emotion in my chest.) A voice that makes me want to giggle but at the same time makes me so so so sad. I can't walk anywhere without my emotions and logic fighting for control. Emotion is screaming that I should go talk to that person, while logic is telling it to shut up and me to go about life. (Hey, you are just jealous you can't hear the voices.)  I want t get that little Mind Invader out of my brain and just go on about life, but no, they are always on my mind. What is that about? Ugh, help Staci, please. (At this moment I am not all that Amazing...more like,..Meh.) Let me know what it is and how to make this little Invader go away. (Or at least stop bugging me) Stay Amazing cause I love you and that is reason enough to. ;)

Hope

"I hate hope...Hope is the crystal meth of emotions, it hooks you fast and kills your hard."

-Jennifer Donnelly REVOLUTION

I hate hope. It crashes you from the clouds it lifts you on, and lifts you to the clouds you crash from. Hoping something will happen, hoping they'll notice, hoping the world will be a better place, hoping, hoping, hoping. It is pointless to hope if you don't take action. It is a do or don't world, there is no try. So hoping is stupid if there is no action behind it. Who is smarter, The man who hopes for gold to find its way into his pocket, or the man who works for the gold in his hand? The second man. He is not wishing, fantasizing on what will likely not become a reality, he is working to make it so. Hope makes me so frustrated. Getting your hopes up can be fun, and emotional high, a world of happy, full of possibility and excitement, but when you get your hopes up, you raise your expectations and the world sucks when it does not meet them; you end up sad and slightly pissed that life did not go the way you imagined it would. "What is the point of writing a script in my head if the other person gets their lines wrong?" Hope is pointless in day to day life, although sometimes it can get you through situations you would die from without hope. Cancer, war, and other horrid tragedy. Hope is, in a way life, but at the same time it is death. It kills you when things don't go your way, yet when nothing is going your way you have hope something will. It breaks you down, shatters your heart, and leaves you bleeding in the dirt, wondering what the crap happened. (Sounds like love, right?) I love you guys, and I hope even though I know there is a chance it does me no good. Ah, the naive have nothing on the informed moron. Stay Amazing.

I give up

Sorry but no more fact of the day. I'm way too far behind. You probably really missed your Staci, and I'm sorry for that. My computer was...on vacation....(lets just leave it at that) So here's what is new with The Amazing Staci.

• I've had a taste or rejection, which is totally a new thing to me. I always get who I want, and this time I didn't. What's that about? I think it is just because he is more shy than most guys, and not my usual "type" so he wasn't quite sure how to handle it. That's cool, it ended well, we're still just friends, but I hope with time that will change. I really like him.
• My grades are not that hot. It is the last month of school so I'm distracted with life and making summer plans. I'[m working hard to fix that though.So no worries, I have yet to not be worthy of my title as The Amazing Staci. The day I am not worthy of it will be the darkest day on the history of the internet.
• I've got my nails done so typing and texting is a lot harder. Because of this fact I don't do much of either one, but for my readers, Amazing as they are, I will type.

That's about it. There's only a few minor details but they are not even worth mentioning. I love you guys. If you are against me giving up the fact of the day, let me know. Send me a sarky comment or PO'd email. I can take it. Stay Amazing. =)